You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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