Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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