ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
