Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
