Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
