I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Everyone says I win the strip club
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
