There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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