I want to stick my p in your. b.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
