I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
