all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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