You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
