Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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