he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
