I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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