i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
