puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
