we have officially lost it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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