I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
