I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
