Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
