If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
