I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
