There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
