dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
