saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
