I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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