I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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