with your own penis?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think your dad took our porno
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
