I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
