ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
