At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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