Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
im holly from the hills drunk
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
