You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
