You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
