No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
