We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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