No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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