that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
