after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
