So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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