that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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