I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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