Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The air was thick with penises
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
