i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
