It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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