Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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