new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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