i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
