woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All the doctor said was why
Panties = found
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
