all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My dick has a subreddit
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
