the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
