She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
