My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
