Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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