I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
