I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
