U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You are a genius and a whore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
