I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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