Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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