my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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