So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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