You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
