sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
