Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
