I want to walk on stilts...naked
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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