I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Small penises have feelings too.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
