I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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