First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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