There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
